44 Years of Light

44 years ago, a person with a beautiful soul came into this world.
A beautiful energy.
A beautiful aura.

He came to make people’s lives better—happier, lighter, easier.
He was a lover. A giver.
A source of energy and laughter.
An example of kindness in human form.

How lucky this world was to have him in it.
How lucky every single person who crossed his path, even briefly.
He made his time here matter.
He made people feel seen, cared for, lifted.

He came to make my life better.
He was my wall, my shelter, my protector—my world.
He loved me. He took care of me.
He made me laugh so much.
He made me feel safe.
He gave me a happy life.
How incredibly lucky I was.

From the very first day he met me, he did everything he could to make me smile.
To keep me in his life.
To make us happen.

Sometimes I close my eyes and breathe deeply, trying to feel it again and again.
To remind myself of the truth:
I was the one.
I was the love of his life.
I was deeply loved—and loved for a reason.
He saw in me the love he wanted for himself.

Today, something shifted inside me.
Today I feel like screaming to the world.

I used to tell him I wanted to scream from the balcony that I loved him,
because telling him—and showing him—every day never felt like enough.

Today, I feel like screaming out of my window a different message:
Live.
Live fully.

I know I keep saying it.
I might sound like, “Here she comes again—live, live, fully.”
But it’s true.

We’ve been doing everything wrong, people.
All that truly matters is breathing.
Being alive.
Being here.

Being happy in your own skin.
In your own world.
With the people you are surrounded by.

I need to be happy.
I need to smile again.
I owe it to him.

He did his very best to make me happy,
and now I’m living broken inside—
showing up for our children, loving them endlessly,
and still… broken.

Mi amor, I promise you this:
I will do everything in my power to find joy again in this life.
To be happy the way you wanted me to be.
I’m not there yet—but I will be.

Happy birthday in heaven, love of my life.
You were a gift to this world.
You are still our light.
And you will always be my reason for living.

Te amo forever ❤️