FATHER’S DAY

Grief is something we all face at some point in life, whether it’s the loss of a parent, grandparent, friend, or anyone we hold close.

Yesterday, Charlie looked up at me and asked: “Mom, are there more people alive or dead?”

I paused and said,“There must be more people who have died, think of everyone who has ever lived.” But then I added, “Let’s look it up together.”

Here’s what we found:

Right now, there are about 8 billion people alive on Earth. But over the course of history, it’s estimated that more than 100 billion people have lived and died.

So in other words, death is not the exception, it’s the rule. It’s the only thing guaranteed for every one of us.

And yet, as a society, we still don’t know how to talk about it. We avoid it. We tiptoe around it. Especially when it comes to children.

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With Father’s Day coming up, Charlie’s teacher kindly reached out to me twice, to ask if Charlie should participate in the classroom Father’s Day activities like the other kids.

I truly appreciated her thoughtfulness. But I told her, both times, “Of course he will. He has a dad.” Just because Sean passed away doesn’t mean Charlie is fatherless. He is and always will be the son of Sean Christopher Robertson. Forever and ever.

The idea that Charlie might be excluded or separated from his peers on Father’s Day, as if he didn’t have a dad, breaks my heart. That’s exactly what I mean when I say we don’t know how to handle death. We know that more people have died than are alive today, death is part of the human story. And yet we often treat it like something shameful, something to be silenced or erased. We try to cover the sun with a single finger.

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But I believe the opposite:

The more we talk about our loved ones, the more we heal. The more we remember them, the more their love and legacy lives on. Let’s not be afraid of grief. Let’s make space for it. Especially in our schools, in our families, and in our everyday lives.

Because love, real love, doesn’t disappear. It just changes form.