WHEN THE WEIGHT FEELS TOO HEAVY

Sometimes, I just need to stop.

Disconnect.

Walk it out.

Breathe.

Recharge.

And then… somehow, do it all again.

Carry the weight again.

Because the weight is so heavy.

There are dark moments when I feel like I can’t anymore — like I’m drowning, like I can’t swim. My body is tired, my heart even more. The tide pulls too strong, and I’m too weak to fight it.

I love my kids so very much. I pour love into them every single day — but three to one is a lot. Some days they win. Some days my patience runs out, and I can’t handle the situation.

I’ve got everything under control — until I don’t.

And those moments… are scary. When I lose it. When I feel like I can’t.

It’s bigger than me.

Because I need him so much.

He was my everything — my world, my hero, my lover, my helper, my partner, my biggest cheerleader. My only support. The only one who loved them like I do. The only one who shared the care, the sleepless nights, the laughter, the worry.

Parenthood with him was the best. I always told him that.

Oh boy… how do I do this without him?

Every day, I try. I try to swim through the tide, to hold on to the light, to breathe again. But some days — like today — I just need to stop.

To pause.

To feel.

To remember that love is still what carries me.